Cross road
Apologies for the long absence. Hear me out and you'll excuse my MIA in the next few months...
In case we all don't already know, I'm 24 years old this year. Time has flown pass so quicky I hardly feel I fit into the shoes of a 24 year old. I did a self evaluation (dug deep) and realised I'm none compared to other 24 year old's. I should be mature, should be steady in life, should know what I want and should know where I want to go. Technically speaking, I'm at a cross-road and it ain't a t-junction anymore. It's a massive 100 junction and I cannot afford to take the wrong exit.
God: I've been distant. I'm sorry.
Studies: Many of my age have faired well and secured a degree. I've never been a great scholar. Biggest hinder of my life.
Career: I have none at the moment. Not even a bean to nurture on. No direction whatsoever.
Love: I've always been on the look-out but recently, I've lost all interest/ hope. Heck, I don't even know what I want anymore.
Family: Falling apart. Got sucked in by selfishness, foolishness, stupidity, childishness, rebellion... It goes on
Friends: I'm thankful that I have a handful (u know who u r)And u've been faithful in times of need.
Social life: I have none. I'm crippled with domesticity. I wish there's a 12-step program out of it. Yes, I'm one of those people. Surpise.
To sum it all, I'm at a life changing point and I don't know how to choose or what to choose. I'm freaked out by that reality and I'm getting sucked in by emotions. I know for a fact that I have to put my 'playful' self to sleep and start behaving responsibly. *sigh* I also know if I stand still, life will pass me by and I'll be 36 in the blink of an eye and nothing would've been achieved.
I'm scared. I'm weak. I'm tired. I'm lost. This is a hard journey. Are we nearly there yet? It seems endless? I feel so vulnerable, so miserable.
In case we all don't already know, I'm 24 years old this year. Time has flown pass so quicky I hardly feel I fit into the shoes of a 24 year old. I did a self evaluation (dug deep) and realised I'm none compared to other 24 year old's. I should be mature, should be steady in life, should know what I want and should know where I want to go. Technically speaking, I'm at a cross-road and it ain't a t-junction anymore. It's a massive 100 junction and I cannot afford to take the wrong exit.
God: I've been distant. I'm sorry.
Studies: Many of my age have faired well and secured a degree. I've never been a great scholar. Biggest hinder of my life.
Career: I have none at the moment. Not even a bean to nurture on. No direction whatsoever.
Love: I've always been on the look-out but recently, I've lost all interest/ hope. Heck, I don't even know what I want anymore.
Family: Falling apart. Got sucked in by selfishness, foolishness, stupidity, childishness, rebellion... It goes on
Friends: I'm thankful that I have a handful (u know who u r)And u've been faithful in times of need.
Social life: I have none. I'm crippled with domesticity. I wish there's a 12-step program out of it. Yes, I'm one of those people. Surpise.
To sum it all, I'm at a life changing point and I don't know how to choose or what to choose. I'm freaked out by that reality and I'm getting sucked in by emotions. I know for a fact that I have to put my 'playful' self to sleep and start behaving responsibly. *sigh* I also know if I stand still, life will pass me by and I'll be 36 in the blink of an eye and nothing would've been achieved.
I'm scared. I'm weak. I'm tired. I'm lost. This is a hard journey. Are we nearly there yet? It seems endless? I feel so vulnerable, so miserable.
posted by noodles at 4:53 PM
2 Comments:
Quarter life crisis huh? Oh well, I guess it's normal for us at this age to discover more of ourselves.. I know sometimes decisions are the hardest among all to be made, especially when there are tonnes of choices awaiting your pick! By hook or by crook, we'll somehow need to a decision - be it the one that we like, or the one which has a better future. Afterall, it's life, there ain't any choice, but a choice of what kind of life you're after!
I know I could not be of much help to you now, but just want you to know that you are NOT the only one who's going through this phase. You'll be surprised that I've got even more question marks in life than you =) But no matter what, you know I'm always all ears on your ramblings, even if it is going to go on and on and on . . . ^.^
Thank u Mei-ee. Ur support means a lot to me... U have no idea...
Arigatou.
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