Slang

The first ever greeting I got when I arrived in the UK was
Stranger: Alright, luv?
Me: Yeah? Why? Is there something on my face? (whilst thinking 'why is this weird stranger calling me love? Who IS he?')
It turns out that instead of a simple 'how are you', the Brits have evolved to just 'alright!' After so many years, I still haven't come up with a good enough answer for that. Do you say 'yeah! you?'... or 'how are you' because you don't mean it... 'hey' coz that's just not a word.. and I refuse to bow down to 'alright' simply because I don't like it :-)

It then got me to think of all the vocabs I've grown accustomed to that might not necessarily be seen as normal in my own country. Below are a list:

1. Arsey - moody
2. Bullocks - bullshit/ nonsense
3. Bang on - right on
4. Brolly - umbrella
5. Bat for the other team - gay
6. Baps - boobies
7. Chatting shit - talking crap
8. Chav - persons with bad taste in clothes (usually associated with Burberry)
9. Chin-wag - talking/ chatting
10. Chuffed - happy
11. Daft - silly
12. Effing - f*cking
13. Evils - hateful look
14. Eyes like piss holes in the snow - small eyes/ tired eyes
15. Face like back end of a bus - ugly
16. Faffer - person who fusses a lot
17. Git - an idiot
18. Go for a mosey - shopping
19. Gob - mouth
20. Hole in the wall - ATM
21. Hit the sack - go to bed
22. Iffy - uncertain
23. Knackered/ cream crackered - very tired
24. Leg it - walking
25. Maccy D's - McDonalds
26. Mint - good/new/great
27. Miff - not happy
28. Minger - someone ugly
29. Nick - steal
30. Pissed - angry/drunk/make fun of/ pee (depending on how you use it)
31. Quid - pound(s)
32. Shitting bricks - very scared
33. Sickie - to call in sick
34. Skint - very poor
35. Sod off - go away
36. Ta-ra - bye bye
37. Tart - hooker
38. Thingy-ma-bob/ Thingy-ma-jig - (word filler)
39. Trump - fart
40. Waffle - talk nonsense
41. Welly - to give a hard kick
42. Wing it - throw away
43. Wonky - unstable

If you understand all of it, WELL DONE! You're Britonised. Let's see if one can make a long sentence out of a couple of those vocabs...

I was already iffy about legging it to Maccy D's. I was served by an arsey tart who gave me the effing evils. I then had a chin-wag with the manager who waffled and did a silent trump before I told him to sod off. I got to the wonky door and gave it a welly and it came apart. I was shitting bricks. The manager was pissed off and made a right faff about it all. I went to the hole in the wall nearby to get 300quid so I could shut his gob. I was well skint after that and couldn't go for a mosey as planned. I was miffed and cream-crackered when I got home and decided to pull a sickie. I then had a shower before finally hitting the sack.

I know it's not the greatest of compositions... You give me some!