Lost

Had a conversation with a friend who reminded me of 'me' 2 years ago...

Just finished my degree then. Everyone began looking for jobs, getting on with life etc... I had one thing in mind- pursuing my masters. I went through all the brochures from reputable universities and went through all the suitable courses available. Back then, I was so anxious and excited about the future I was willing to move to another brand new environment, even if it meant moving to another country! Up for challenges and changes! All of the above was happening when majority of my friends were already into their second year of their working life. I could still taste that feeling, smell that energy...

2 Years on (after my masters), although graduating with a little bit more knowledge, I feel more lost than ever. I still have a goal like before, just a different one. One that is long term. I'm still as thrilled to work hard to achieve it, but something's just not right. There is an ongoing pressure from mum and dad whose message I'm still trying to decipher. There's an uneasy, almost unpleasant like feeling at the back of my head. I feel people who cares about me are giving me advice that are supposed to be good for me but my heart and gut is feeling otherwise. Sinister? Critical? Fussy? Fickle? I don't know anymore... Lost...